10. How & Why to Protect Your Kids' Digital Privacy

Our guest this week is Leah Plunkett, author of the book SHARENTHOOD, and faculty at Harvard Law School and faculty associate at the Berkman Klein Center for Internet & Society at Harvard College.

Leah and I recently reconnected when I had the opportunity to capture some new headshots for her website upgrade. You may have heard of her before – she’s literally an armchair expert and Dr. Phil trusts her as an expert panelist. She’s been featured in the New Yorker, the Economist, Good Morning America, PBS, and more. 

Leah was one of my first boss’ in Law School when I externed for the Youth Law Project at NH Legal Assistance. She taught me how to passionately and bravely advocate for the protection of the rights of young people and juveniles who got in trouble with the law.

She’s a self described “Law Nerd” who spends most of her days reading through privacy laws and educating parents about ways we can “advocate” for our kids and guide them in ways to protect themselves in this ever evolving digital world.

Leah wrote Sharenthood to shine light on the mistakes adults make with kids’ private information, the risks of that result and the legal system that enables the collection of your child’s digital footprint from often before they are born! 

I’ll admit, initially her book title and description freaked me out. But what I realized, after reading and diving deeper into the topic, is that this is an opportunity to chat about some tangible ways we can be wiser about what we share and how we talk about our kids online. It has also given me the chance to do my own assessment of what I am comfortable with sharing and how I want to talk about my kids “online” moving forward.

Key takeaways:

• Apps collect data about your kids from before conception and beyond (i.e. fertility tracking apps, diaper changing/feeding trackers, smart devices and cameras). Be mindful of the information you share and when in doubt use analog methods for tracking (i.e. paper and pen).

• Your data can be sold to 3rd parties. AI and other imperical data about you and your child may be used by Apps and sold as an asset to third parties.

• Read privacy agreements and ask questions - don’t be shy to research how your information is being used in apps, online and at school.

• Turn off “location services” on apps and do not “add a location” / tag your hometown in social media posts.

• Ask before sharing photos and information about your kids when possible.

• Avoid sharing identifying information about your child in photos or captions online (i.e. full name, date of birth, hometown, time of birth, birth weight, etc.)

• 1st day of school photos - be mindful to not share name of your child’s school/daycare, teacher, and “current favorites” — basically avoid posting photos using the stock blackboards that ask for all that info.

• Use the “Holiday Card Rule of Thumb”- if you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing the image or information in your post with your boss, neighbor, child’s teacher and/or friends, then consider not sharing the information publicly.

• Don’t share images where your child isn’t fully clothed. Nefarious characters have been known to search for hashtags using the words: bath time, potty training, bikini, bathing suit etc. for uses that are not in your child’s best interest. It is best to avoid sharing these types of images.

• Periodically review and edit your social feeds. Don’t be afraid to delete posts that you no longer wish to share. Check your social feeds every 1-2 years and update as needed.

• We are all “sharents.” It’s not something to feel bad about, but it is something to be mindful of as we make decisions sharing digital information about our kids online.

Resources:

Link to The NY Times Video on Sharenting:

Learn more about Leah Plunkett here.

Read more about sharenting here

Listen to Leah’s interview with Dax Shepard and Monica Padman on Armchair Expert — and celebrate a moment where I am 1 degree separated from being their buddy! lol

9. Planning Your Legacy

In this conversation we interview Personal Family Lawyer, David Feakes, Founder and Owner of the Parents Estate Planning Law Firm in Acton, MA. 

We discuss all you need to know about planning your legacy through estate planning and the legal process. We also chat about practical ways to ensure that your children are protected in the event of a tragedy or your unexpected early departure while you still have minor children in your care. 

Links we discuss in this episode:

Kids Protection Planning Guide

Wear Clean Underwear, by Alexis Martin Neely

I also created a cute but practical “In Case of Emergency Card” template that you can customize, download and print using a free Canva Account should you feel motivated (like I did) to update the ways you can identify yourself and connect help for your children in case an emergency should arise where you are either separated or cannot speak for yourself.

It’s my first time doing something like this, so if you encounter any issues — shoot me an email or DM me on instagram

Hope you enjoyed this episode!

If you did — be sure to Follow our show so you don’t miss any new episodes when they sporadically drop and share your five star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! I’ll be forever grateful!

In Case of Emergency Card Template

CUSTOMIZE NOW

We'll email you a link to customize this template through a free Canva account. We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at anytime, but we hope you stay and we get to grow together.

If you just can’t get enough of our chat with David - then you’ll really love the interview we recorded over on his Podcast - Wicked Smart Parents Podcast. David interviews me about some key ways I preserve memories for our future generations and I’d love for you to take a listen. It’s linked down below in case it’s easier for you to listen here. Otherwise - you can find it on Spotify and Amazon Music and iHeart Radio.

8. Wheels Off the Bus

Well well well. We’re weathering through some storms over here in life. We’re almost through them (I hope!) but in the meantime it feels a bit as if the wheels have fallen off the bus! This episode is a quickie that goes through a little bit of what has been happening over here lately and what to expect coming up soon as we continue to batten down the hatches and thrive through this wild time.

Hugs for listening!

2. The Power of Things and Stuff

Things & Stuff
Workbook

FREE downloadable prompts and journaling page to start overcoming your overwhelm

Send me the workbook!

By signing up, you'll receive your FREE download and I'll add you to my newsletter to keep you in the loop. Be sure to confirm your subscription and check that I am not stuck in your SPAM inbox.

EPISODE 2 (TRANSCRIPT)

Okay. Real talk time. Do you ever feel completely overwhelmed by things and you feel like there's so much in your brain that you can't start to sort out what you need to do next? I can't be just the only one who feels this way. Usually by Monday, my head is swirling with all the things that I've wanted to do all weekend and haven't been able to get to because I've been in mom mode and especially so after a long break at home with the kiddos. So here's my go-to method for getting everything out of my brain and sorted into lists for me to actually start tackling and making some progress forward. I figured out over the years that this is the method for me to actually get things done. It is called the things and stuff list. And today's episode is dedicated all to the power of the things and stuff list.

So let's get into it. Here's what you're going to need to do to make a things and stuff list. It's so easy you can't not try it. Basically, I need you to pull up a blank Word doc on your computer in Google docs or on Microsoft Word or whatever you use to write down your notes. You can use your phone, you can use a piece of paper, but I need you to sit down and start writing out everything that's on your brain for 15 minutes. 15 minutes sounds like an eternity and it also sounds like not that much time. But I think that you have the time to actually sit down and get all of the thoughts in your head out onto paper. Here's what it's going to look like. I want you to set a timer for that 15 minutes and you're going to just start writing.

You're going to write things and stuff, things and stuff I don't want to write, things and stuff, I'm writing things and stuff, I'm thinking about things and stuff. Oh, here's some things and stuff that are on my brain. I need to call the doctor. I need to change the tires. I need to record an episode for the podcast. You start to think of the things that you need to do, but you can start writing in this free flow form. And I don't want you to stop typing or writing until everything is out of your brain and you feel that moment of...

I promise you're going to get there too. So let me run you through a few prompts that I like to think about when I'm starting to write. First thing you're going to want to do is be a noticer. How are you feeling right now? What does your body feel like? You can write this down. You can think about the senses that you're smelling and the things that you're seeing with your eyes. What's overwhelming to you right now?

I know for me, my house looks like a tornado just went through with the kids being home all week. It's crazy. And my mind kind of feels like that when everything is going nuts. So notice what is affecting you and your mood and your ability to sit down and focus right now and write it down. Write about what's on your mind right now. What feels heavy in your mind? What are you happy about? What is lighting you up today to make you show up to listen to this episode? What is most important to you in general? Give that a think for a few minutes. What are some of your values? What drives you to get up in the morning? What's your mission that you want to show up for, for your kids? What do you want to teach them?

Is there something that you feel like you must do today that has to get done today or else a deadline's going to pass or your bills are going to not be paid on time? So there's something that's driving you that you need to make sure you check off the list today. Write that down. What do you want to do for you today?

I know, that's a big one. What are you going to for yourself? Are you going to sit down and consider this 15 minutes of time for yourself your you time? Is there something more that you can do? Are you going to take a walk? Is it nice out? Do you want to just jump on the Peloton and ride for a few minutes? Are you going to do some yoga, meditate? What is it that you're going to do for you today? Is today just too crazy and you can't do anything for yourself?

Well, when are you going to give yourself some time? Think about that. Write that down. What's standing in your way? Do you need some help and support to build in that time to be able to take time for yourself? What's the next step? Can you ask for help? Can you hire a babysitter? Can you find a way to find a new show that you can give your kids to watch that you can have a few minutes for? Can you do a workout with them? How can you get away to give yourself some time and space? What prevents you from moving forward? Is there a huge hurdle that you need to climb over that you feel like you need to move that boulder before you can do anything else?

I want you to sit on this for a few minutes because I often find myself giving myself excuses for why I can't move forward. If you're feeling that way right now, if you're saying, "Well, I can't hire a babysitter because there's no one in my area," or "I'm new to town and I don't know anyone," or "I don't trust anybody to come into my house and watch my kids right now." Think about those things and then I want you to examine each of those statements that you've just written down and see if there's something behind it.

Is there another way to look at it and a way to get around that argument you've given yourself? Just notice it. Think about it. Just sit with it for a few minutes. You've got 15 minutes to do this so just give yourself that time to think and work through it. Write down what's ever on your mind. And if you get stuck while you're doing this, just keep writing things and stuff until something else comes out. Imagine what life would feel like if you had a system and a process that you started each day to take steps towards your big goals. What would that feel like to you?

How would it feel to start checking things off and having things in order? Let's think about that feeling for a few minutes. Write that down. You know what's neat? If you run out of space, just start writing over your words. It'll feel really good to get things out and you might see all that jumbled mess comes out into a beautiful piece of art that you can later frame and remember how crazy your mind feels sometimes.

But if you don't want to write over the lines, you can just keep adding paper, keep typing in that Word doc, just keep going. Keep going until you get everything that is in your beautiful, sweet mind out of your head and onto paper. This is going to be our next step. I'm going to walk you through how to take everything that you've written down on this things and stuff list and begin to sort it into actionable steps that you can take to start checking things off.

You've probably written down on this list many things and ideas that you want to accomplish today, both for you, for your family, in the future bigger mightier goals that you want to tackle. The purpose of this exercise today is to just show you a way that you can start to categorize and organize your mind. This is a system I'm teaching my members in my Memory Makers Masterclass that they can use to replicate over and over again to work through their goals and their projects, and to start identifying their simple next steps so that they can tackle all of their wish lists and start feeling a little bit more peace.

I'm so excited to grow with this group and to share what we learn along the way. I encourage you to continue to follow along on this podcast. If you enjoy what you hear, please, please hit follow, subscribe, share it with a friend, and please don't hesitate to shoot me a DM on Instagram and let me know what resonates with you. Also, there is going to be a link in the show notes for you to sign up for my newsletter so that you don't miss any of the future episodes that we drop. And we are going to be growing that email list throughout this year as we finish up the Memory Makers Masterclass for our fall launch. I'd love for you to be in there so that you don't miss a minute of the details and that we can start to grow together. I can't wait to see you inside. Thanks for listening. I'll talk to you next time.